The Expat's Wife - On How to Integrate a Foreigner!

When we met neither of us had lived longer than aforeigners into "good" and "bad" or "acceptable" and "
year in a foreign country. We both had worked fornot acceptable". People stare at you when you speak
international companies and had traveled a lot, buta different language on the bus. Luckily he managed to
we'd never settled down long enough in a foreignenroll into a language program and everything worked
country. When we finally decided to move together, itout fine. He met lots of other expats from different
was "my" apartment, "my" hometown and "my"countries and they had similar problems and a similar
friends.taste in pub culture.
Moving to a different place is never easy, but movingSince our two children were born we sometimes feel
to a foreign country and without speaking the languagelike the odd ones out. People have a hard time
fluently is even harder. Additionally he came from a bigimagining that there can be more than one nationality
city and I lived on the outskirts of a 120,000 personor tradition in one family. They are also being tested if
town. Country living to him! After introducing him to allthey really speak both languages fluently and if they
of "my" friends we found out that he liked them, but stillmanage to do so, the surprise is huge. Of course we
had to find his own; which is hard while working a 40are very proud of them and of ourselves to pass on
hour week. I showed him all the great things you couldboth of our languages, traditions and the wider horizon
do in a mountain area and found out that skiing,of having parents from different countries.
mountain biking and hiking are not his thing. Also doingAfter living together with an expat and the expats
all the official paper work like driving license, workingcommunity for almost 10 years (two of those years in
permit and becoming a local in the nearest pub is hardanother country where we were both expats and I
work if you can't speak or write the language.looked for teaching jobs overseas), I think everybody
All of a sudden, there is a person living with you thatshould have to move away from their home at least
doesn't know anything about how things run in youronce in their lives. In order to appreciate how their own
country. Things that come naturally to you and youcountry a lot more and to realize that getting settled
wouldn't waist a minute thinking about, become asomewhere else is not an easy thing to do. But I am
problem. I started to wonder how complicated thingsalso sure that many would think differently about
are for the expat's community in my home country.foreigners in their own country.
Additionally, I found out that my country categorizes